>> PITCHSHIFTER <<

Date: 24th Nov 2018
Lineup: Pitchshifter, earthtone9, The Blueprint
Venue: Rock City, Nottingham

Never have I been crushed between so many heterosexual men in my life. Never have I been subjected to so much bad breath in my life (please... chewing gum isn't even expensive)! I walked out of that venue drunk, hungry, completely bruised up, and all-in-all a complete mess. This was the time I went to see Pitchshifter.

It's a Saturday, my first Saturday back in my own place. I'd been back with my parents for just over a month for post-op recovery. The surgery was pretty standard, you know when they open your chest up in a fashion not too dissimilar to those infected with the Reaper virus from Blade II, and scoop all the breast tissue out... okay, maybe chest masculinisation surgery isn't that common.

I'm healed up decently well at this point. I don't have to wear any bandages anymore, it's just me, my bare chest, and the elements. It's very liberating being able to take a full, deep breath. I haven't been able to do that in fucking years. This newfound ability will come in useful later.

In my absence, it's dropped several degrees colder outside. I'd not been outside much so it was a beautiful, welcoming experience to be freezing my balls off an hour before doors opened. I've also lost weight, again, so my body's working overtime tryna keep shit running. Two guys next to me (one was 39 - he looked 17 - and was backpacking in Thailand or something, the other in his early 40s) spent this full hour complaining about today's music and how 'nobody goes to concerts anymore'. The same shit people have been saying for a decade. Which is fair enough, but do yous really have to spend so much energy complaining about this shit? I swear, it's the same kinda people talking the same kinda shit at every damn gig I've ever been to. I need some friends.

Eventually, doors open, and I nip straight to the merch booth to grab a shirt and a poster before heading for the barrier. It's still baltic and I'm shivering like mad. I went to get a drink and returned for the opening act - The Blueprint - to come on. I'm sure The Blueprint and earthtone9 had pretty much the same people playing, bar the latter which had discount Serj Tankian on guitar as opposed to whomever was playing before. I don't have much to say about either of the opening bands. They were quite fun but the crowd was deceased so it was kinda dull, I suppose. I wish people at least tried to look like they're enjoying themselves when the opening bands are playing.

Now, Pitchshifter. They're touring to celebrate the 20th anniversay of their album www.pitchshifter.com, a fabulous album if I do say. There was an IMMEDIATE shift in the crowd's attitude. The members walk onto the stage and it's like the entire crowd shoves forward with the force of a thousand suns, crushing whoever is foolish enough to stand at the barriers. This includes me, a 5'2" guy weighing in at around 100 pounds. Do the maths.

They put on a great show. It was fucking crazy. I suppose all 3 bands originated from this city so they've got the fanbase established but Jesus Christ. I've also never seen so many people crowdsurfing before. One nearly fell and his arse clipped my head, giving the massive spikes sticking out my eyebrow a friendly jolt back into my face. Half the gig was me pressing against the barrier to prevent the crushing of my ribcage, but the whole experience was amazing. I'd do it again, but maybes leave a layer of clothing off next time and face the outside cold like a man.

I think that if I was still binding my chest I would have genuinely passed out - both from heat and the inability to breathe properly. The last thing I would've experienced is a bunch of guys with shit beards and horrid breath trampling my body. I can't imagine a more awful way to shed this mortal coil so I am thankful I was able to get these tits removed before the show.

I didn't get to take many pictures. I kinda wish I'd gotten a couple more as JS Clayden was jumping around right in front of my face for a lot of it. Also, Dan Rayner is a beautiful man. Would've been nice to get a shot of him too. Sadly, I think both my phone and my hand would've been taken clean off had I attempted to retrieve my phone from my pocket.

At the end of the show, I waited for the place to clear out a bit so I could recover a bit (and manage to nab a setlist, of course) and then had to fight my way out the venue as it was being used for a nightclub after the show was over.

I think that was enough excitement for one night. If I had to be bitchy I wish they'd played Innit, my favourite song by them, but I'm sure I'll live.

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